Saturday, 3 August 2013

I don't know how much one can handle
sometimes I believe we can handle everything we handed,
at other times I believe things break us,
things that shatter our hearts and souls,
leave us on our knees facing this harsh, cruel world.
facing society.
the same society that makes us believe that the only way of life is to follow the crowd.
I have felt pain,
I have felt hurt.
but I don't believe that those things are more powerful than happiness.
but sometimes, as much as I want to believe,
I don't know.
some things scar us,
leave a mark on our hearts,
some things have brought so much pain and hurt that we cant forget,
we can learn,
but learning does not make us forget,
learning doesn't get rid of that scar.
I don't get this.
One day,
one day I will join a pride.
that's my dream.
to join nature
not society.
i cant stand the image people portray.
I want the beauty of the morning sun on my cold face,
the whole, natural sun,
not disturbed by the city lights.
I want to wake up free of judgment,
I want to wake up with the fresh air,
not polluted by the hurdles that get thrown in our paths.

Wednesday, 6 March 2013


People think they know.
they think they know the situation we in
the things we feel
and when we feel them.
The reality is no one does.
From the people you live with,
to the people you spend all your time with.

i wish people knew what my heart felt like,
and the simple things they could do.
But no one does and i dont expect them to.

So much pain,
questions that remain unanswered.
People dont know.
not a clue.

people dont look at me and say
'last year he lost his world,
he lost his joy,his home,
last year he lost his strength,
his light,he lost something he thought he could never live without,
he lost a part of him,he lost the one who would cheer his heart,
he lost the one who would give up the world for him.'

Well thats what i lost.
i lost everything i knew.

Life changed at an instant.
People were there for me for a while,
things changed again and people left.
meanwhile the pain in my heart?
it stays.
its here.

I dont look for pitty,
compassion or anything like that.
i just need a place to run to.
im not strong,
im not a hero.

nowhere is home.

Friday, 11 January 2013

hard life

haven't written anything for a while.
here it goes.

Living life you encounter people
you get to know some,
but really get to know few.
When you love someone,
you are open to learn,explore and try new things.
You are able to share different,new emotions.
most of all you get to see different perspectives
and how ones life has rough patches and beautiful patches.
you get someone by your side to stand with,
and lean on when you down,
cry on when you sad,
laugh with when you happy.
But the most beautiful thing is  not receiving these things ,
but being able to supply another human
another heart
another soul
with the same comfort you feel when they hold you.

life is not easy.
not easy at all.
and sometimes we fall
and feel like we cant get back up.
The funny thing is that, there is a thing called
and hope allows us to get back up
if not,
it allows us to see further,to a brighter time,
and give us the strength to crawl
on our hands and knees until we can get up,
stand tall as we once were.
In life we are bound to fall,
but are not bound to stay fallen,
because no matter how tough a situation
we can rise.
We find strength deep inside,and hope
and we rise,
like grass Slowly creeping towards the sky,
through the cracks of a heavy,black,tarred road.
we find a way.
Nothing is more potent than you.
nothing can hold down something that keeps standing back up.

Losing my mom?
Hardest thing I have had to deal with.
that was hard
living in this world without her takes courage,
it takes guts
and strength.
But those are all things that she taught me as i grew up,

i wanted to be like her.
I want to be like her.
She did not leave me empty handed
she left me things i am forever grateful for,
and that i will cherish forever. 
the strength i need to live without her?
we all have it.
 deep down inside.
we are not often driven to look for it,
but if you do look for it,
its there.
i promise.
i didnt know i had it,
i still dont...
but i somehow manage,
and thats how i know its there.