Nala

This is to you.

This is to you,

you are the reason for my strength.

This is a thank you for showing me how to love, like other people don't know,

like i didn't know.

Let me say thank you,

thank you for being my pillar of strength in my times of utmost solitude.

in my times of unbearable pain.

Thank you for being my teacher.

thank you for showing me that possessions are not important.

that life is more than what people think.

thank you for opening my eyes to how a person should behave.

You taught me how to care about someone,

but not like others care,

like you care.

Its not the same because if the world ran dry, 

people like YOU would be the river that gives people hope.

The river that reminds us that our thirst can be quenched.

The kind of kindness that is so rare.

The kindness we felt as kids, before this world polluted our minds.

Can i tell you something beautiful, Fabs?

Your mind is not polluted by this world.

Your mind shines, it explodes with passion and determination.

Its beautiful.

like the sunset over Noordhoek beach.

Everyone looks and wonders how something can be so incredibly beautiful?

So intricately constructed to be a beacon of light to the world.

The sun lights up the skys relentlessly and shows us that its the beginning of a new day.

Thats what you have done for me over the past 20 years,

i wake up and i don't have to see you,

just like i dont have to see the sun, to know that it has risen.

I feel you,

i feel the love you have for the world,

the passion you have for people,

the zest you have for living 

the love you have for life.

And can i tell you somehting beautiful?

when i wake up, i feel the love you have givne me.

When people tell me i cant,

i feel your power inside me,

i see the way you handled the toughest times and i fight.

i fight for what our beautiful mother taught us.

I fight because the world cant hold anyone down.

I fight because not fighting would be to easy.

And i fight because that's what i was taught.

i have no idea of  what lies ahead,

but i do know i have you by my side,

and i hope you know i'm by yours too.

Ill never leave.

Because mom built us a home in her heart,

a home for our souls,

our minds.

I find myself in you.

and theres no one else id rather look deep into the eyes and see myself.

but more than that i see you.

I see the life you have lived and the struggled you have powered through.

i see the times you have felt alone, but you always knew you weren't.

I see the Strength of you heart.

I see moms eyes, 

i see moms kindness,

i see moms outlook on life.

i see YOUR outlook on life.

i see passion,

determination

I see a bulldozer that simply cannot be stopped, 

because nothing is stronger than an inspired mind.

I see my childhood in your eyes,

i see our good times and our bad times.

i see all the lesson you have taught me.

i see the tough times,

i see the tears 

But i also see the lion inside of you.

The predator,

hungry for more,

hungry for thrill and adventure,

the lion that cant be tamed,

don't hold it in,

set it free.

Because a soul like yours, will never venture this earth again.

Thank you for teaching me 

guiding me.

Thank you for being the Lion i look at with admiration,

The lion that everyone knows is different,

The lion i hope to roar like one day.

The lion i love with my whole existence.

The only lion that will be in my pride for the rest of my life.

thank you for everything. 

Draft

Here we are.

Once again faced with life and its relentless pounding,

faced with the harsh beatings of life.

Down on your knees, the blood runs thin from the constant wear.

your elbows battered from the constant falling.

your arms trembling from all the times that they have tried to lift up that heavy,

heavy

heavy body.

Your legs are aching.

Your shins are bruised,

your hands are grazed from helping you stop the fall.

But your hands can only do so much.

What happens when the cuts get too deep and you cant use your hands to block the fall?

what happens when your legs are too weak to stand up again?

What happens when your body is too tired and it would just be easier to maybe,

not

get 

up?

i can tell you two options.

One - you stay down.

You give into the comfort of being on the floor, 

the ease of not having the struggle to get back up.

You allow your body,

 your battered elbows and scraped knees,

to get used to the ground.

Let them heal, but not grow,

Let the blood clot.

let the cuts close.

let the door close.

throw in the towel?

The infamous white flag.

If thats you, then Listen.

There is another option.

Theres a real tough choice to make.

Because this path is going to be harder.

Your knees?

They will be raw to the bone,

you hands will be covered in your struggle.

Your legs and arms are numb,

but,

Your mind will be rich in hope,

your soul will be alive in power,

and if you are strong enough,

You are strong enough.

you are.

You wont let anything keep you down.

Your sore knees will get scraped a hundred more times getting up,

But that moment, 

that one moment when your knees straighten and your hands push off that floor.

Your body feels as alive as your soul.

And the power you have inside you,

deep deep inside.

Says fuck it.

Fuck it to not standing tall.

Your soul overcomes everything,

your mind, 

The force of gravity that was holding you down.

is obliterated by the immense strength of ones self.

ill finish this another time.

Fuck it.

Fuck the way the world is

People are.

Put others first. 

Make sure peoples hearts are safer than yours.

Who gives a fuck anyways? 

You just the guy that tried,

But didn't quite get there.

Didn't quite fit in.

Didn't really make the cut.

Maybe you not good enough?

Maybe you not crazy enough?

Fuck it. 

To you.

My brother, who put your heart out.

Who put out your hand and kept it there,

No matter how many times it's been left to hover in the cold air.

Here's to you my friend.

Who while you hurting,

You make sure others aren't.

Don't keep it in, it builds

And builds

And builds,

Like an anthill in the dust,

The forces of self doubt and anger,

Like thousands of worker ants

Building their temple.

Their mountain of anger inside your heart.

Don't let them.

Don't let the disrupting darkness get to you:

My brother, you are strong.

You are to good to be put second.

For the amount you try, 

The amount you give out your hand.

It should be permanent held, 

By another hand that is lingering in the mist.

The must will clear.

The darkness will become light.

The smell of  rot will be replaced with that of fresh lavender.

Hold on.

Grip tight.

Hold on for dear life.

Hold onto the pole, your foundation.

As life blows like a never ending storm.

Tornados.

Whirlwinds. 

A wind that will sweep you away.

Hold onto what you believe. 

Grip it.

Don't let go.

Hold onto your life,

The people you hold close.

Let te bruises, the scars show your journey.

Let the hard calluses on your hands show the people . 

That you hold on through the strongest of storms.

Let the blood, from your worn fingers,

Show the world that you are a fighter.

Let the hope in your eyes 

The strength in your eyes.

Shine like a beacon.

Show the world that your hands will Heal.

The cuts will close.

But the scars will remain.

The scars that tell a thousand tales.

The scars that say I didn't give up.

Be proud of your wounds,

The wounds you got while at war with the world.

Wash the blood off your hands.

And all that remain are the same hands,

The hard,fatigued hands.

That taught you how to fight.

That taught you how to fight

That taught you how to fight

One of the worst things in this world is feeling like we aren't enough.

We aren't enough for someone,

Something.

We arent tall enough,

Pretty enough,

Wild enough.

The feeling of hopelessness.

The feeling of emptiness and self doubt,

It's that feeling you get when you put out your all,

But it isn't appreciated,

Your endless trying is not acknowledged.

The way you try your best.

But still it isn't good enough.

One day the person will come along that appriciates,

The person that will say our good is better than the worlds best.

Out average is better than the worlds best.

And our best? 

That person will understand.  

Till then, try your best.

Show people that endless attempts do not mean failure.

Show the world that every time the tide rises to kiss the shore,

She gets chased away,

Only to try again  in a couple of hours time.

Be a beacon of hope.

Try.

Try 

And try again.

If you fail 100 times and try again you haven't failed,

It's when you stop trying,

When the world makes you cold,

That you fail.

I speak for those whose words go unheard,

Who's voices are muted,

Who's pages go unturned.

Who's screams get muffled by society.

This is to you.

To you who put others before yourself.

To try and break the vicious cycle the world has encrypted in our minds.

Here's to the optimistic, 

Who's views ate of outmost ecstacy.

Who's conspiracy is above mediocrity.

Who believes others are irriplaceable.

Untouchable.

Surreal.

Special.

Here's to the guy who took the pain.

Here's to him who withheld his tears.

To the guy who finishes last.

It's incomprehensible,

That in this world of bendable,breakable rules,

People are afraid to step out and put someone else first.

Attempt it.

Let that lifestyle consume you.

Let your life manifest a collage if selflessness.

Do not be a slave to the illusion that your existence is the conclusion.

Let your existence,

Your presence be a relentless beacon shifting with what seems like the solution,

Relive the world of this hate, of this mental pollution.

Put people before yourself.

But don't forget what you worth.

Respect all but grovel to none

Have no where to run.

Trapped in a cage I'm forced to call home,

I leave myself at the foot of the door,

Inside the house enters a clone,

Because the real me can't anymore.

I'm trapped with a family I didn't choose,

People with whom I'd love to aquaint 

The despair is hidden like base on a bruise,

And they bite, like a fish on bait.

I need a place to go, a place to run.

Where I can be free from this pessimistic view

I need a stronghold,somewhere or someone,

Because it's easier to conquer in two.

I need someone to confide in,

More than a page on the internet.

I need a place that will let my soul sing,

I need a home that sees no debt.

I love to write.

I really do.

It gives me a place to run,

When I have nowhere to run to.