I don't know how much one can handle

sometimes I believe we can handle everything we handed,

at other times I believe things break us,

things that shatter our hearts and souls,

leave us on our knees facing this harsh, cruel world.

facing society.

the same society that makes us believe that the only way of life is to follow the crowd.

 

I have felt pain,

I have felt hurt.

but I don't believe that those things are more powerful than happiness.

but sometimes, as much as I want to believe,

I don't know.

 

some things scar us,

leave a mark on our hearts,

some things have brought so much pain and hurt that we cant forget,

we can learn,

yes.

but learning does not make us forget,

learning doesn't get rid of that scar.

I don't get this.

 

 

 

One day,

one day I will join a pride.

that's my dream.

to join nature

not society.

i cant stand the image people portray.

I want the beauty of the morning sun on my cold face,

the whole, natural sun,

not disturbed by the city lights.

 

I want to wake up free of judgment,

sorrow,

worry.

I want to wake up with the fresh air,

not polluted by the hurdles that get thrown in our paths.

 

 



hero

People think they know.

they think they know the situation we in

the things we feel

and when we feel them.

The reality is no one does.

From the people you live with,

to the people you spend all your time with.

i wish people knew what my heart felt like,

and the simple things they could do.

But no one does and i dont expect them to.

So much pain,

hurt,

sorrow,

tears,

thoughts,

questions that remain unanswered.

People dont know.

not a clue.

people dont look at me and say

'last year he lost his world,

he lost his joy,his home,

last year he lost his strength,

his light,he lost something he thought he could never live without,

he lost a part of him,he lost the one who would cheer his heart,

he lost the one who would give up the world for him.'

Well thats what i lost.

i lost everything i knew.

Life changed at an instant.

People were there for me for a while,

things changed again and people left.

meanwhile the pain in my heart?

it stays.

its here.

I dont look for pitty,

compassion or anything like that.

i just need a place to run to.

im not strong,

im not a hero.

nowhere is home.

hard life

haven't written anything for a while.

here it goes.

Living life you encounter people

you get to know some,

but really get to know few.

When you love someone,

you are open to learn,explore and try new things.

You are able to share different,new emotions.

most of all you get to see different perspectives

and how ones life has rough patches and beautiful patches.

you get someone by your side to stand with,

and lean on when you down,

cry on when you sad,

laugh with when you happy.

But the most beautiful thing is  not receiving these things ,

but being able to supply another human

another heart

another soul

with the same comfort you feel when they hold you.

life is not easy.

nope.

not easy at all.

and sometimes we fall

and feel like we cant get back up.

The funny thing is that, there is a thing called

Hope.

and hope allows us to get back up

if not,

it allows us to see further,to a brighter time,

and give us the strength to crawl

on our hands and knees until we can get up,

stand tall as we once were.

In life we are bound to fall,

but are not bound to stay fallen,

because no matter how tough a situation

we can rise.

We find strength deep inside,and hope

and we rise,

like grass Slowly creeping towards the sky,

through the cracks of a heavy,black,tarred road.

we find a way.

Nothing is more potent than you.

nothing can hold down something that keeps standing back up.

Losing my mom?

Hardest thing I have had to deal with.

that was hard

living in this world without her takes courage,

it takes guts

and strength.

But those are all things that she taught me as i grew up,

i wanted to be like her.

I want to be like her.

She did not leave me empty handed

she left me things i am forever grateful for,

and that i will cherish forever. 

the strength i need to live without her?

we all have it.

 deep down inside.

we are not often driven to look for it,

but if you do look for it,

its there.

i promise.

i didnt know i had it,

i still dont...

but i somehow manage,

and thats how i know its there.

break

sometimes I think we need a break.

we need to run to a place we feel free

where there are no expectations,

no thoughts

Just time you have for yourself and no one else.

Being with people is good

but time alone is precious.

Silence is golden and the state of mind where you are happy alone,

is a good one.

Because when you happy alone,

your happiness does not rely on anyone.

The ocean is my break from the world.

The world holds me,

the people in it,seem to manipulate my thoughts,

my mind.

As soon as I get in the water,

the chains are broken,

I'm no longer a slave of the things around me,

but I'm a loyal servant to the ocean.

It owns me,

with permission to.

Its the freedom I ask for ,

and how lucky am I to receive it?

Hollow

trying to describe a barrel seems merely impossible.

the feeling you get

when you in.

and never want to leave.

water rushing above your head.

surging from beneath you.

you feel the ocean

you feel the passion

you feel the joy.

You forget.

You  are in absolute bliss.

Nothing matters.

Nothing.

the sight of the water closing you in

the ocean swallowing you.

The endless colours that find a spot in your mind.

After one.

You're hooked,and its never enough.

The pure stoke when you make it,

and the gift that the ocean has given you,cannot be compared to anything.

Because that moment was what you have been waiting for.

and there will never be another like it. 

strength

So many times life catches you by surprise and you don't know what to do

or where you are.

All you know is where you want to be.

Living isn't easy,nothing is easy.

Yet we seem to have an internal strength that comes out when we need it.

A part of us we know exists,yet we don't see often.

Its the part that at that low point its says to you

You can do it

Keep going

You will make it.

And that is what helps us make it through another day.

When we are broken we will heal,

for if something is broken,how can it break more?

it will only heal.

When something is at the bottom,it has nowhere to go,

but up.

When life throws you down,its a challenge,

and if you don't accept it and take the challenge,

No one loses,but you.

When your heart is in pain and it feels like the world is over, that's when its real.

All we have to do is take it,even better,Hit it back.

Look for the good things.

Don't hold the bad,for it harms no one but the holder.

Life isn't easy.

But easy isn't an option.

If it were,everyone would take it,and no ones characters would be moulded.

People with strong hearts

powerful souls and wise minds,

would be empty.

Strength does not come from ease,

it comes form hard times we have no controll over,

and the only option you have?

Be strong.

That shows us who we really are.

I believe people have the potential to achieve anything,

because impossible is a word only a coward will use.

ocean

That feeling when your foot hits the water

and you think to yourself,

its good to be home.

As you paddle out over the now foaming yet once majestic waves,

that the the ocean throws at you,

and you forced to make that first duck-dive,

The cold one.

although that's the one that warms you up the most.

The feeling of sitting at backline

where the ocean is calm and your only worry?

Who is going to get the next wave.

Peacefully time passes as you forget about your earthly problems,

and find happiness,

true happiness.

When you remember nothing but the things you need,

the things you want.

The absolute bliss of being in the ocean.

The Power,

The Beauty,

The Unpredictability,

The Danger,

The Passion.