I speak for those whose words go unheard,

Who's voices are muted,

Who's pages go unturned.

Who's screams get muffled by society.

This is to you.

To you who put others before yourself.

To try and break the vicious cycle the world has encrypted in our minds.

Here's to the optimistic, 

Who's views ate of outmost ecstacy.

Who's conspiracy is above mediocrity.

Who believes others are irriplaceable.

Untouchable.

Surreal.

Special.

Here's to the guy who took the pain.

Here's to him who withheld his tears.

To the guy who finishes last.

It's incomprehensible,

That in this world of bendable,breakable rules,

People are afraid to step out and put someone else first.

Attempt it.

Let that lifestyle consume you.

Let your life manifest a collage if selflessness.

Do not be a slave to the illusion that your existence is the conclusion.

Let your existence,

Your presence be a relentless beacon shifting with what seems like the solution,

Relive the world of this hate, of this mental pollution.

Put people before yourself.

But don't forget what you worth.

Respect all but grovel to none

Have no where to run.

Trapped in a cage I'm forced to call home,

I leave myself at the foot of the door,

Inside the house enters a clone,

Because the real me can't anymore.

I'm trapped with a family I didn't choose,

People with whom I'd love to aquaint 

The despair is hidden like base on a bruise,

And they bite, like a fish on bait.

I need a place to go, a place to run.

Where I can be free from this pessimistic view

I need a stronghold,somewhere or someone,

Because it's easier to conquer in two.

I need someone to confide in,

More than a page on the internet.

I need a place that will let my soul sing,

I need a home that sees no debt.

I love to write.

I really do.

It gives me a place to run,

When I have nowhere to run to.

I'm struggling a bit lately.

I think I'm missing home.

I'm scared for a lot of things.

Things I can't write about,

If you ask,

I'll tell you.

I'm sitting here under the sun and a beautiful

Blue sky.

Yet I think I'd be more in peace in

The storm.

The howling south Easter

The blue ocean

The majestic mountains. 

What do I have to go back to?

Not much hey?

It's weird I find so much comfort in a place,

That even when I'm there,

I struggle to call home.

I need to start building something for myself.

Of myself.

I need to make a home

I miss it.

I miss having a place were you can lie your head 

and feel completely at rest.

Barry road was that for me.

My mom was that for me.

I can't wait for the day I don't have to worry.

For the day I get to come home to my beautiful wife.

To my kids.

To my home.

My family will be my world.

To the woman who I'll one day marry,

I can't wait.

I'll look you in the eyes every day and tell you what you mean to me.

I'll tell you I love you .

I'll show you I love you.

 But till then,

I'll start my journey. 

I'll start now so that when that day comes.

I can spend my hard earned money on you,

On that diamond ring.

Fuck .

Those are some weird things to write about.

Hahaha

Sometimes I just feel like writing.

I feel like letting go of what's on my chest.

Writing for me is a release,

Drawing is a release.

It's time I have by myself that no one can intervene.

I don't know what to write about. 

I don't have a clue.

I don't know what to draw.

I don't know what to say it think.

My minds in a crazy place at the moment.

Not a horrible crazy,

But not a good crazy either.

So much has been happening,

Feelings have shot into my heart,

That I didn't think would.

It's weird what life does to is.

As soon as we start to get a feeling of comfort with our surroundings,

Life reminds us that we aren't in control.

This time it was a good reminder,

A reminder that it's not over,

A reminder of what it's like to have soemeone by your side .

A reminder that not all hope is lost,

But with the ever changing winds,

Life takes and gives and takes and gives. 

It's beautiful really.

We need to look deeper than we do.

We need to look at the good things that we take for granted.

We need to have an optimistic look on this life of ours.

As soon as you see the good in the bad,

You start to have a different outlook on life.

An outlook wich is so rare.

I wish I had it.

I wish I could always see the positive in situations.

If I try,

I can. 

But that's with anything,

Put enough time and though into something and you see the good.

The thing is that with some people.

Yes, you.

It's easy,

It's easy to not see flaws because the good is overwhelming,

Overflowing.

The flaws are transparent,

Useless. 

Why see the bad, when there's so much good.

Don't look for the bad, 

The more you look,

The more you will allow it to manifest your life, 

And outlook on life.

Good things come with time they say.

I agree,they do.

But I believe great things are spontaneous.

Things that happen all of a sudden,

Things you don't expect,

Those are the ones that will keep a spot in your mind forever.

Because the longer you wait,

The more you expect.

Someone tell me what to draw, 

I feel like drawing.

I know what I feel like drawing,

I feel like drawing the memories I have in my mind,

I'm a dreamer I'm afraid you will find.

And as I drift away, and my mind flies,

I see my reflection in those big,beautiful brown eyes.

I don't know how much one can handle

sometimes I believe we can handle everything we handed,

at other times I believe things break us,

things that shatter our hearts and souls,

leave us on our knees facing this harsh, cruel world.

facing society.

the same society that makes us believe that the only way of life is to follow the crowd.

 

I have felt pain,

I have felt hurt.

but I don't believe that those things are more powerful than happiness.

but sometimes, as much as I want to believe,

I don't know.

 

some things scar us,

leave a mark on our hearts,

some things have brought so much pain and hurt that we cant forget,

we can learn,

yes.

but learning does not make us forget,

learning doesn't get rid of that scar.

I don't get this.

 

 

 

One day,

one day I will join a pride.

that's my dream.

to join nature

not society.

i cant stand the image people portray.

I want the beauty of the morning sun on my cold face,

the whole, natural sun,

not disturbed by the city lights.

 

I want to wake up free of judgment,

sorrow,

worry.

I want to wake up with the fresh air,

not polluted by the hurdles that get thrown in our paths.

 

 



hero

People think they know.

they think they know the situation we in

the things we feel

and when we feel them.

The reality is no one does.

From the people you live with,

to the people you spend all your time with.

i wish people knew what my heart felt like,

and the simple things they could do.

But no one does and i dont expect them to.

So much pain,

hurt,

sorrow,

tears,

thoughts,

questions that remain unanswered.

People dont know.

not a clue.

people dont look at me and say

'last year he lost his world,

he lost his joy,his home,

last year he lost his strength,

his light,he lost something he thought he could never live without,

he lost a part of him,he lost the one who would cheer his heart,

he lost the one who would give up the world for him.'

Well thats what i lost.

i lost everything i knew.

Life changed at an instant.

People were there for me for a while,

things changed again and people left.

meanwhile the pain in my heart?

it stays.

its here.

I dont look for pitty,

compassion or anything like that.

i just need a place to run to.

im not strong,

im not a hero.

nowhere is home.

hard life

haven't written anything for a while.

here it goes.

Living life you encounter people

you get to know some,

but really get to know few.

When you love someone,

you are open to learn,explore and try new things.

You are able to share different,new emotions.

most of all you get to see different perspectives

and how ones life has rough patches and beautiful patches.

you get someone by your side to stand with,

and lean on when you down,

cry on when you sad,

laugh with when you happy.

But the most beautiful thing is  not receiving these things ,

but being able to supply another human

another heart

another soul

with the same comfort you feel when they hold you.

life is not easy.

nope.

not easy at all.

and sometimes we fall

and feel like we cant get back up.

The funny thing is that, there is a thing called

Hope.

and hope allows us to get back up

if not,

it allows us to see further,to a brighter time,

and give us the strength to crawl

on our hands and knees until we can get up,

stand tall as we once were.

In life we are bound to fall,

but are not bound to stay fallen,

because no matter how tough a situation

we can rise.

We find strength deep inside,and hope

and we rise,

like grass Slowly creeping towards the sky,

through the cracks of a heavy,black,tarred road.

we find a way.

Nothing is more potent than you.

nothing can hold down something that keeps standing back up.

Losing my mom?

Hardest thing I have had to deal with.

that was hard

living in this world without her takes courage,

it takes guts

and strength.

But those are all things that she taught me as i grew up,

i wanted to be like her.

I want to be like her.

She did not leave me empty handed

she left me things i am forever grateful for,

and that i will cherish forever. 

the strength i need to live without her?

we all have it.

 deep down inside.

we are not often driven to look for it,

but if you do look for it,

its there.

i promise.

i didnt know i had it,

i still dont...

but i somehow manage,

and thats how i know its there.